If you were to take two people and one gets angry at the other, then the other decides to get angry in response, what you have is the beginning of a perpetual cycle of negative emotions.
It comes as a result of reacting as opposed to responding. A response comes from considering the result of your reaction first, and then deciding to proceed or choosing an alternative course of action.
Once the cycle has begun, it’s difficult to prevent it from getting worse. The best way to break the cycle is to become a detector i.e., to realise and and become aware of it’s instigation, and then responding rather than reacting.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it one more time for the record, not all negative emotion is bad. It only tends to be when it is left unchecked that it can become bad and create bad results.
Given the choice, what would you prefer; a sweet conclusion or a bitter ending? The former always wins hands down for me and to get there it will take one of you to interrupt the cycle, kind of like interrupting falling dominoes.
Responding To A Negative Outburst
If someone gets angry at you, your first response might be to retaliate. Your reaction will possibly come from a place of hurt, perhaps your ego has been bruised and maybe you feel like that initial outburst was not justified.
But, if you were to pause, and consider for moment what would cause someone to behave that way, you’ll start to uncover new information which makes it easier to respond in a more constructive way.
Step outside of yourself. Did you do something? If yes, take an impartial look at yourself and the way you behaved. What would you have done differently should you face something similar. If you feel you did nothing, then know that the power is always with you to stop these things before they escalate.
Who Goes First?
You, it’s always you. Why wait? Why not you? It takes an incredible amount of emotional maturity to be the one to interrupt the cycle.
Even if the other person is in the wrong, even if you feel the outburst was totally unjustified, it’s up to you to understand that for that small moment, the person may have needed someone there to release their emotions onto.
Naturally, the caveat is that you are not there to be a punching bag, so if it becomes regular then it’s up to you to put a stop to it. But, if it’s a one off then take the initiative to possibly help that person heal.
Healing
Have you ever noticed that if you ever let a person vent without interruption, the venting will run out of steam on it’s own. Once finished, the person always feels better that they’ve managed to release those emotions that have built up over time.
Know that often anyone who’s in that position perhaps just needs to have an outlet so they can heal. If you retaliate you negate that. You can be an instrument to heal others or you can join the queue of people who need to be healed.
Are you going to choose to be an instrument of healing and break the cycle of negative emotions?
www.unlimitedchoice.org
